How to Pet a Swede: Approach calmly, never head-on, and ideally holding a kanelbulle. Extend your palm slowly so they can sniff for signs of awkwardness or alcohol. Avoid direct eye contact, too much staring makes them retreat to the nearest IKEA, so keep your gaze vaguely on the horizon like you’re discussing the weather. Let the Swede come to you; if they start mumbling about midsommar, you’ve been accepted. Begin with light shoulder pats only attempting a hug requires 5–7 business years of trust. Reinforce positive behavior with snus, coffee, or compliments about IKEA. For best results, offer Arboga beer as a high-value treat. Warning signs of overstimulation include a muttered “oj oj oj,” a flattened hair bun, or sudden disappearance into the sauna which they mistakenly call 'bastu'. In that case, back away slowly and try again later.
never cut into a swedes queue, for this is considered a direct challenge to its hierarchy. Instead, present yourself calmly, holding a miniature toy Volvo or an IKEA hex key as a sign of goodwill. The Swede thrives on silence. Do not confuse this with disinterest, rather, silence is its preferred form of communication. Long pauses may actually indicate comfort. Should the Swede mention Volvo safety ratings, you have been accepted into its trust circle. Courtship rituals involve removing one’s shoes indoors and pretending to enjoy fermented herring. Offerings of black coffee are effective, but the rare Arboga beer remains the ultimate bonding token. However, use sparingly overconsumption may trigger loud singing of 80s dance hits such as ABBA and uncontrollable sauna invitations. Warning displays include a sharp “nej tack” or sudden retreat into their summer cottage, where they remain camouflaged until autumn. In such cases, respect the boundaries and try again during the next fika cycle. Excessive doses of Fika or Araboga may cause the Swede to transform into its chaotic party form, the “sup-Svenne.”
wroght ina dalahäst
>>31978
>>31957 He even knows about the fika cycle
>>32039 hames is a knower
>>32040 Clearly
>>32041 fika cycles syncing up is a sign of close friendship
>>32043
>>32037
>>32040 o fug thats me with just long hair and no glasses im doxxed >>31978 meet me in malmö >>32039 självklart
