men only want one thing and its fucking disgusting
its this I want this
>>254937 me too
>>254940 die splitlip fuck
>>254946 watch your tongue human or i shall glass your planet
>>254947 [Scene: A sumptuous floating banquet hall aboard High Charity, sunlight glinting off Forerunner crystal bowls. The Prophet of Tremendous Truth descends onto his golden dais, robes gleaming like polished brass, clutching an ornate silver fork.] THE PROPHET OF TREMENDOUS TRUTH: “My beloved legions—Brutes, Elites, even you Unggoy slurpers—gather close and hear the solemn details of my midday feast. It was, frankly, the greatest lunch in the history of lunches. Tremendous. Absolutely unparalleled. First, I began with a small—but let me tell you, perfect—green salad. Crisp lettuce, cucumber slices cut with surgical precision, and drizzled—very lightly, mind you—with a vinaigrette so exquisite the Sangheili scholars nearly fainted upon tasting it. Some bode well. Some tremor at my palette.” [A Grunt leans forward, curious. The Prophet raises an eyebrow.] “Then came the main course: a colossal steak—marbled like the Forerunner glyphs themselves—cooked exactly medium-rare, as all great steaks should be. I’d asked the chef—who’s a tremendous chef, by the way—to sear it just long enough to lock in all the juices. And let me tell you, the juices were yuge. Everyone in the Covenant buffet line was jealous. Even the Prophet of Regret across the hall was pounding his staff in fury. I take that as a sign of absolute success.” [The audience murmurs approval; a Brute impetuously pounds its chest and then hastily places a hand on the table, nearly tipping its plate.] “Now, you might have noticed me fidgeting—twitching, perhaps. Some foolish rumors might swirl that it’s because of… personal issues. Let me be clear: these are merely hyper-enthusiastic responses to the divine flavors. Yes, my hand shook a bit during the dessert announcement, but that’s only because I was so excited about the crème brûlée. The crackling sugar topping—it practically sang hymns of sweet devotion.” [He lifts a small spoon ceremoniously.] “Once I broke that sugar crust—snap! The sound echoed through High Charity like a covenant victory horn. Then the custard within—silky, fragile—almost floated out to me. It was glorious. And yes, I may have spoken a bit faster than usual—you know me, I always speak fast when something is great, tremendous—but rest assured, there’s absolutely no other reason.” [A nearby Elite nods solemnly, wiping a tear.] “After finishing—because I finished, I always finish—nothing was left but a single crumb. A single crumb, which I ceremonially laid upon the altar of Harmonious Consumption. Truly, a tribute to culinary excellence. So any reports of, let’s say, overly enthusiastic energy surges? Purely the aftermath of a meal so divine it practically charged my very soul. Nothing else. I’d never—never—mention any other sources of vigor. Tremendous truth, always.” [He stands, raises a goblet of electrolyte-rich beverage.] “To lunch—may every future meal aspire to its greatness. And may my energy remain forever… electrified.” [The congregation erupts in joyous staccato stomps as the Prophet reclines, already dreaming of dinner.]
kys sergio
